I dont always look at myself
before I leave in the morning.
She saw something in the mirror that terrified her: her fathers face.
Im in front of the mirror
And I stare
and I stare and I stare
And I am an astronaut floating farther and farther away
While my body is in a place that I dont quite understand Yet
You have to fight for yourself
But I don’t know if I can always keep up the fight
Find my self-worth
in other people validating my body as good enough, as trans enough
And the thing is, I want that. I want it so, so bad.
But then. Im back in my own skin.
I fix my hair and my face
so my day can begin.
there are other days
Where I look and actually
And I know that I can be
anything you want.
And let everyone else stare
for a while.
Some days, I am dangerous and want you to know.
Beautiful, powerful, untouchable, Whole.
Most days, I am just me, whatever that means.
To blur between bodies Not male, Not female, Not quite.
its exhausting. But not impossible.